I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
