I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
