Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
