I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize