You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
