its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
