ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
