Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.

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(410): View more from Maryland

As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.

(443): View more from Maryland

im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.

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(518): View more from New York

Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge

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(239): View more from Florida

I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly

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(813): View more from Florida

Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?

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