i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
