Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
