I can tuck mytits in my pants
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
