Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
