Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
