i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
