all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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