he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I touched a dick in church today
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
