I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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