i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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