my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
