4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So squirting runs in the family.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize