Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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