that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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