oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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