Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
