I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she told me i tasted like america
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
