Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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