Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
