At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
