I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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