I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
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