Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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