I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
