So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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