I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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