I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
