Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She needs sedatives and a leash
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
