Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
