I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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