is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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