he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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