I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There r osticjed everywhere
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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