i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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