He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
