spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
