were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
