I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
