boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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