I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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