If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
