I got chris browned last night
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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