Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
