I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
