I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What a dumb baby whore.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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