Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
