dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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