dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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