And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
