You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
