Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
