Dual....:-)
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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