How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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