i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
