Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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