she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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