just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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