I heard we made out
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Acid is not a monday night drug
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
